it’s rain

Best background noise to read to.

This was a few days ago. Last night there was rain, but there was intense thunder and flashing lightning, too, all around us, all the time. All summer I’ve been longing for a really good thunderstorm and then I got what I asked for, one so great it scared me for the first time since childhood (well, the tornado risk scared me, anyway).

Yesterday I also went on roller coasters for the first time in I think 13 years and I felt ridiculous and terrified and brave. Amazed at the strangers all there just screaming together at the shared experience that is so intense that nothing else will do. Screaming as a collective accepted action is so strange. I went on one ride that was essentially a massive swing, and four rows of people faced four other rows of people and one end of the swing went up in the air, the people screamed, then the other end went up in the air, and the other people screamed. It was almost conversational, personal. Like a call and response. Looking each other right in the eyes at the height of our terror.

morning in your childhood home

There are certain sounds that will be comforting forever: slippered feet on that creaky floor, early morning radio debates, water being poured into a kettle, screen doors sliding open. I stretch and kick the metal footboard as I had done every morning, and before I am fully myself I forget the last nine years have ever happened.